What is wrong with the filter in our boy’s brains? I know they are hearing what I say, but there must be something wrong with the connection between their ear and their brain that takes what I say, and turns it into the complete opposite. And it’s not just one of my boys. Nope, it’s all four. So it definitely has to be a “boy thing”.
I even think The Dada suffers from this.
I’m in the entry, putting on the boys coats and shoes as quickly as possible because we are running late for a doctor’s appointment. I get “Mr. Trouble’s” stuff on him.
I say: Ok, go out to the van and quickly buckle yourself in. We are late so please go right into your seat.
He hears: Go outside and run around to the back of the house. Try and hide and when I come looking for you, run away and hide somewhere else. Keep this up until we are REALLY late.
I’m upstairs putting away laundry that has gathered outside the bedroom doors. I’m in the boys room and CamCam comes up to me with a pile of his sister’s clothes.
He says: Here ya go ma.
I say: Thanks CamCam, but these are your sister’s, they don’t go in here. The Baby’s sleeping in there though, so just put them back on the floor.
He hears: These are your sister’s. Open her door and put them in her room, preferably as loudly as possible.
We are out in public and Nolie and CamCam run off from me as we are leaving a building. CamCam runs outside and takes off. When we get into the van, I give the boys a stern talk about listening and safety.
I say: You boys have got to start listening to me. I’ve told you over and over that you have to stay next to me when we are out. It isn’t safe when you run off. But you don’t listen to me and that’s why we don’t get to do fun things like go to Chuckie Cheese and go to the playground. When you start listening and being safe, then we can do more of these fun things.
CamCam hears: We’re going to the playground!
The older two have been home from school for a half-hour and I am letting them know what their chores are.
To my oldest I say: You need to put your clean laundry away. Please make sure you do not just throw it all in one drawer, you need to put everything away in the correct drawers. I’ve even laid it out according to which drawer it goes in for you so there’s no excuse.
He hears: Grab the 4 piles of clean laundry in one massive swoop and dump everything into the bottom drawer of my dresser. If it topples over, grab whatever fell onto the floor, open the top drawer, and shove it into that. Now, granted, only the middle drawer is staying closed, but 1 out of 3 isn’t half-bad.
It’s getting close to dinner time, and I’m in the kitchen trying to finish up as quickly as possible.
I say: Alright everyone, you gotta get out of here. I know you’re all hungry and I’m going as fast as I can, but I cannot cook like this.
They hear: Mom can’t finish cooking unless The Baby is standing between her legs, hanging onto them and crying, Nolie and CamCam are running around her hitting each other, LaLa is looking in all the pots and asking if he can “just have cereal to eat.”
The little boys have all been tucked into bed. I’m in Nolie and CamCam’s room.
I say: Ok boys, now it’s time to go to sleep. I read you your book, everyone’s gone potty, you have your drinks right here. There is no reason for you to get up. I don’t want any talking or fooling around, it’s time for sleeping.
They hear: Ok boys, it’s now time to act like caged animals. I want to hear banging on the walls, throwing of toys, and LOTS of laughing. Hopefully loud enough to wake The Baby. Tear apart your room. And, I can think of at least 6 different things you could come out of your room to ask for. Whatever you do- do not go to sleep.
