I LOVE preschool talk. Just love it. If you spend any amount of time listening, really listening, to a preschooler and what they are saying, I guarantee you’ll have a good laugh.
There are those conversations that make you realize that, while it is possible to have a logical conversation with a 5 year old, it just isn’t possible with a 3 year old:
5 year old- Mom, when did I swallow money?
Me- I don’t remember you swallowing money.
5yo- Well, I remember that I did. It was on my tongue and then it slipped down my throat.
Me- Well, don’t do that again. We don’t want to put money in our mouth, it’s dangerous. Plus it has germs.
5yo- What’ll it do to me?
Me- They’ll make you sick.
5yo- No, I mean what do the germs do to me?
Me- I know, they’ll make you sick. You’ll throw up.
3 year old, who’s been listening intently to the entire conversation with a look of concentration on his face- And what paper do??? It goes like this: boom! boom! boom! (Hitting his book back and forth) And people go ahhhhhhhhh! (Hits himself in face with book) Like that!
Then there are those conversations that make you wonder what kind of child you are raising:
Like, when your 4 year old brings you something he’s built out of Legos and you say- “Oh, that’s so nice! What are those, trees?”
And he replies- “No, they’re warriors of doom.”
There are the conversations you hear that make you wonder how on earth we got from point A to point B:
Nolie (aka Mr. Trouble)- (eyeing my dinner plate of tortellini) Hey! Do I like that?
Me- No, you don’t. You think they’re yucky.
CamCam- Hey! I like those! I eat that!
Me- No, you don’t like these either. You think they’re yucky.
CamCam- Yes I do, I like to eat yucky.
Nolie- You like to eat yucky things CamCam?
CamCam- Yup!
Nolie- Just not lobster?
CamCam- I eat lobster.
Nolie- You like to eat their bodies?
CamCam- No!!! I don’t want to eat my body!!!
Nolie- No, not your body. You eat lobster’s bodies. You eat and eat lobster’s bodies and when you eat all their body then their dead.
There are those conversations that just make you shake your head:
Like when I was talking with Nolie about how he needs to aim better in the toilet-
“Pee goes in here, not here, or here, or here. Just here.
Nolie- And not in here? (pointing to where the seat connects to the bowl)
Me- No!!! Why on earth are you asking that?!? You don’t pee there do you?
Nolie- Yes I do.
Me- Why!?!
Nolie- Because I like to.
There are the conversations that make it really hard to be the tough, in charge parent. Because all you want to do is laugh.
It’s bedtime at our house and, like usual, Nolie and CamCam are not settling down to sleep. They were tucked into bed almost an hour ago and we can still hear them fooling around up there. Time to send in the big guns- The Dada goes up.
The Dada (after a stern talk about how it’s now bedtime)- Now, do you want to go to sleep or do you want to find out what will happen if I have to come back up here?
Nolie- I want to find out what will happen.
Dada- No, if I have to come back up, I’m not going to be happy. So do you want to find out or do you just want to go to sleep?
Nolie- I really want to know what’s going to happen.
And then there are the ones that remind you that you're the mom of boys:
I’m sitting in a chair and Nolie comes in and sits in my lap. He stayed awhile, which is rare for him. Usually he jumps right up. I put my arms around him, and he snuggled in. So I started rocking and humming the itsy bitsy spider song to him, thinking, “isn’t this nice?”
Nolie- Guess what I did mom?
Me- Hmmm?
Nolie- Guess what I did mom?
Me- What?
Nolie- I tooted on your leg.
