If you ever watch my kids, you should know. . .

June 22nd The Dada and I celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary.  We are celebrating early, and going away this weekend.  This is HUGE for us, we haven’t been away overnight without kids in years.  To give you an idea how long its been- last time we went away, we only had 2 kids. 

I am fortunate enough to have my mom living close by, and also fortunate enough that she’s agreed to stay at my house for the weekend and watch my fab-five.  In preparation for her arrival, I’ve put together a list for her. 

Dear mom, thank you so much for agreeing to watch the kids this weekend.  Here’s a list of things that may help you out:

• You will want to take a really good shower Thursday evening as there’s a distinct possibility you won’t have a chance to take another until you go home on Sunday. 
  
• When CamCam sees people with crazy hair, he likes to cut it.
  
• “Little Hurricane” no longer asks CamCam to let him out the front door.  He can do this for himself now.
  
• On Thursday I will dust, vacuum, mop, catch up on dishes and catch up on laundry to prepare for your arrival.  On Friday morning it will look like I didn’t do a darn thing.  No real advice here, just a warning.
  
• If you hear the words “puppy walk” come out of CamCam’s mouth, be on alert- this means he’s going to get his stuffed dog and walk to the end of the road by himself. 
  
• Pretzels and Blue’s Clues are a magical combination that produce this effect:

• You may want to bring ear plugs as there will be a LOT of crying/screaming going on.

• When “Little Hurricane” gets mad he spits.  When something doesn’t go his way, he spits.  When someone upsets him, he spits on them.  When he’s looking out the window at his brothers and sister playing without him, he spits. 
  
• No matter how overtired CamCam and Little Hurricane are, they will refuse to nap.
  
• Noise is good.  If it’s quiet, investigate.
  
• My little boys love to use sweeping “you never” statements to get you to do things for them.  “You never cut me up an apple.  You never let me play outside.  You never let me do the wii.  You never feed me lunch.  You never play with me.” 
  
• My kitchen sink always looks like this:

I am told it does in fact have a bottom, but it’s impossible to find.

• I believe CamCam and Little Hurricane have a secret stash of markers and crayons that I cannot find, and they will write on things when you’re distracted.  Like couches.  Or beds.  Walls.  Blankets.  Windows.  Each other.
  
• When Little Hurricane is doing things he shouldn’t, such as dumping boxes of cereal and crushing them with a truck, or playing in the toilet, don’t count on Nolie or CamCam to clue you in.  They'll just sit there and stare at him with a “I can’t believe your doing this” look on their face. 
  

Most important of all, prepare to be bombarded with sloppy kisses, tiny arms thrown around your neck or waist, and lots of I wuv you’s.  You’ll leave my house on Sunday exhausted, but smiling from ear to ear. 

Thanks mom!

How Crazy is Your Day?

This is mine.

We’re all kinds of crazy here.

Time to cut the cord

The only things I like about winter are that bugs stay out of my house and little boys stay in my house.  I am terrified of bugs and therefore take a sick delight in the fact that they all meet a frozen death once a year.  I am also mom to three fearless little boys who love to be outdoors.  I am heading into my 5th summer in a row where I go into a mini-panic every time I hear the door shut. 

Who just left the house?!?  Who’s outside?!?

If Nolie decides to go outside, it isn’t such a big deal anymore.  He understands where he needs to stay.  Plus, he’s old enough now to understand that he needs to let me know when he’s heading out the door.  AND, as an added bonus, he also understands that he needs to make sure the door is shut so that Little Hurricane can’t get out.

CamCam, not so much.  CamCam knows that I want him to stay in the back yard, but there are so many interesting things in the front yard.  And the neighbors’ yard.  And the street.  CamCam has been told countless times he’s supposed to ask before heading out the door, but who can be bothered to track down mom when there’s great fun to be had outdoors?  CamCam also thinks he’s helping Little Hurricane out by leaving the front door open for him.

But mo-om, he really wanted to go play outside!

A few days ago I was in the kitchen cooking dinner when Nolie says to me, “Hey mom, I see CamCam.”  Nolie was at out front window looking out, so I walk over to him and asked him where he saw CamCam.  “Right there,” he points, “down at the end of the street.”  I run out the front door and sure enough, there’s CamCam happy as a clam walking up the street towards our house. 

I bring him into the house and ask him what he thought he was doing.  That he knows he isn’t supposed to be outside without telling me and that he never, never, never is supposed to go in the street.  He said he wanted to take his puppy for a walk, and holds up his stuffed dog.  I bring him to the DaDa:

Me:  Every single day I tell CamCam that he can’t go outside without telling me first.  And everyday he gets punished for going outside without permission.  I just now found him walking at the end of the road, he isn’t listening to me, you need to take over.

Dada: (Looking at CamCam) What are you supposed to do before you go outside?

Cam:  Ask mom.

Dada:  And where are you supposed to stay when your outside?

Cam:  Out back.

Dada:  Then why did you just go outside without telling mom and why did you go in the road?

Cam:  I don’t know. 

Dada:  You need to start listening to your mother.

Cam:  (mumbling)  bu-sh-pa-tro-me.

Dada:  What?

Cam:  But daaaad…..  she’s always controlling me.

You know you have serious problems when your three year old tells you you’re too controlling.  How the Dada held it together for the rest of that conversation is beyond me, I was in a corner laughing my head off.  He’s a better parent then I.