Pediatrician's Office

Today "The Baby" had his 9 month checkup. It was at 9:50 AM, so I knew it would be really hard to get to it. It's not easy to get my three little monsters ready to go out the door in the morning. We arrive at the office, and I'm in a hurry, so I decided to forgo the stroller this time. I grab "The Baby" out of his car seat. He has one of those fleece car seat covers, so he is not wearing a coat. It's a really short walk to the office, and I'm tempted to carry him in as-is, just so I do not have one more thing to carry. However, it is his appointment, and the pediatrician is going to be checking him out and I assume checking out how well he's cared for, so bringing him in with no socks, no hat, and a light-weight one piece outfit in November in Maine probably isn't going to cut it. I grab the quilt in the van and wrap him in it. Then I grab my purse, and then the overstuffed diaper bag. The diaper bag is overstuffed because along with the normal diaper changing stuff I need, it's also filled with things to bribe good behavior out of "Mr. Trouble" and CamCam.

I walk around to the other side of the van to get "Mr. Trouble" out and then CamCam. "Mr. Trouble" pushes the button that shuts the automatic door. CamCam starts to throw a fit. He drops to the ground and starts whining/screaming "I ush, I ush, I ush!" He wanted to push the button, so I open the door and tell him to push it. Nope, he just throws his fit. I put the diaper bag and my purse around my arm that's holding "The Baby", and hook my other arm around CamCam's waist to pick him up. He makes his body dead weight. I don't know if you've ever experienced trying to pick up a child that has done this, but in one second they are miraculously able to make themselves weight an extra 50 pounds.

So I walk to the front door, what a sight we are- two people stop and stare. "Mr. Trouble" has run on ahead to use his "magic powers" to open the automatic door. I hope no one ever tells him that the door is automatic and he actually doesn't have magic powers as this is the only way I can get him into the office willingly. I have "The Baby" on my right hip with the diaper bag and purse hooked over my arm, and CamCam is facing out with my arm around his waist holding him, but he is arching his body and kicking and screaming.

We reach the elevator and I ask CamCam if he'd like to push the button and he immediately stops his fit and runs to push it. However "Mr. Trouble" runs ahead and pushes it before CamCam can. Grrrrrrr. I speak to "Mr. Trouble", and tell CamCam he can push the one inside. But an elderly couple get in before us and the woman pushes the inside button. Apparently they never had kids and so do not realize that one of the great joys of childhood is pushing buttons. I vow that as long as kids are around me, I will never ever push a button without asking the child if they'd like to first. CamCam starts yelling his angry jibberish at the elderly women, and then resumes his fit. I grab him again as the door opens and we walk down the hall to the office. Only 5 minutes late, not too bad.

I tell CamCam he can go play toys, but he says no and cries a bit in the chair instead. After a couple minutes he changes his mind and goes to play. At that exact moment "Mr. Trouble" has to pee. Poor CamCam is so mad he has to leave the toys, so again I carry him as we head off to the bathroom. We get back to the waiting room and they have about 5 minutes to play before we are called in. I watched the fish swimming in the tank, it was heavenly.

CamCam is NOT happy about going to the room, I think he must believe the appointment is for him. Eventually we make it there and I pull out the box of car cookies I have. "Mr. Trouble" eagerly sits to get his cookie. Not CamCam though. I give him 2 and he throws them on the floor. I throw them in the garbage and he cries and yells at me, now he wants them. That's pretty much how the entire appointment goes: CamCam telling me no at everything I suggest, then him crying and yelling because he wants it or wants to do it after all.

I'm so grateful when it's over and we all head to the front desk to check out. The phone rings just as we get there, and the receptionist picks it up. It takes FOREVER!!! My little boys cannot take being there anymore. I have run out of things to bribe them with to stay close to me. CamCam starts to run off, I tell "Mr. Trouble" not to run after him but he does. They run down the hall with me chasing them, take a right, run down that hall, take a left and run about halfway down before "Mr. Trouble" tackles CamCam to the ground.

I'm beginning to think that "The Baby" not wearing a coat into this appointment would have been the least of my problems.

We finally are leaving. I give "Mr. Trouble" a very stern warning not to push the elevator button, that it's CamCam's turn. He actually listens and CamCam finally gets to push his button. We go inside the elevator and CamCam sees another red button and pushes it. Off goes the emergency alarm. It's so embarrassing whenever this happens. But this elevator has an extra button I do not know about. We're going down when suddenly I hear a voice say: "911, What's your emergency."

Oh my goodness, they actually made a button that instantly calls 911 RIGHT at kid level!!! It's only like 2 feet off the ground, adults can't even see it, did they actually make it for kids only?!?!?! I'm tempted just to run and say nothing, but I tell her what happened and off we go to the van.

Next time, I think we'll take the stairs.