Now It’s Your Turn to Be Two

 

You wanna know what’s cool about having a baby brother?

Pretend for a minute that you’re two.  No, not that there’s two of you, that YOU are TWO. 

You there?

Ok.

Now pretend that your belly is insanely large for your body size, and it’s been like 5 whole minutes since your mom fed you lunch.  You’re starving.  You can hear the grumbling.  You know if you ask your mom for food, she’ll probably say something dumb, like, how she just fed you lunch and so no more eating.  She doesn’t understand the grumble in your tummy.  It doesn’t care that you just ate lunch, it wants more. 

Now.

So knowing that your mom will say no, you wait for a moment when she’s distracted. 

There it is. 

She’s busy typing on that machine.  Probably writing about you.  Humph! 

So you sneak walk your little two year old self over to the “Keeper of All That is Yummy”. 

There it is.  mmmmmmm

And you’re in luck!  Someone foolishly left it unlocked.  You open it, and right in front of you is a box of goodness.

It’s a rather big box for your little two year old self.  So you grab it with both hands and turn.  The box is really big, and you can’t see through it.  You try to lower it so you can see over it, but your arms are short and the box is big.  There’s only one other way to go.

Up.

So you raise the box way up over your head and you begin to walk to the table.  It’s a bit top heavy, so it’s practically upside down.

Suddenly your mom notices you.  She’s acting crazy.  You get a confused look on your face.  What’s her problem?  She runs over to you and grabs the box out of your hands.  You look down and notice that the floor is covered in cheerios.

Oops.

A whole box of yumminess wasted. 

Uh, oh, mom’s really upset.  She tells you that you are picking up every single one of those little o’s by yourself and throwing them in the garbage.  There’s got to be bazillions of them!  You tell her “No!”, but she’s pretty insistent. 

And then, who comes crawling over, but your baby brother.  You look in amazement as he crawls right into the middle of the big mess and starts eating like there’s a shortage of food or something.

 

 

How’d he know you needed help? 

Sometimes it’s pretty cool to have a baby brother.

What's the World Record for Number of Meltdowns in One Day?

Oh.


My.


Goodness.


What a day.  And it's not even noon.  CamCam has outdone himself.  I am declaring today official "Meltdown Day".


It all started right after CamCam woke up.  "Mr. Trouble" was playing with this little lego car, and CamCam had a FIT.  Apparently he felt it was his, and he wanted it.


Now.


CamCam was the last person playing with the car last night before bed, and to CamCam night time doesn't reset ownership of said vehicle, it just pauses it.  I told CamCam no, that "Mr. Trouble" had the car first.  "Mr. Trouble" looked at CamCam as if he was crazy, and handed over the car, and picked up another instead.   CamCam threw the lego car down the stairs and demanded the new one. 


I knew right then that this was going to be a very long day.


We headed out soon after that for an early appointment.  Someone PLEASE remind me to never again book an appointment for 9AM.  Anyways, I pull into the parking space, and tell "Mr. Trouble" to unbuckle himself and wait on the sidewalk for me.  I go to get out "The Baby", and CamCam has a fit.  He wants out, and is absolutely furious that "Mr. Trouble" is out of the van and not him.   I let him push the button to shut the van door and this makes him very happy.


We then get to the building's automatic doors, and "Mr. Trouble" is a bit ahead of us and so the doors open for him.  CamCam screams.  "I open, I open, I open!"   I never thought it would be possible for a child to fight over getting to open an automatic door.  I tell him he can go first for the next set, and just as we get inside, a group of people are coming the other way and "open" the door instead.   


Meltdown. 


I coax CamCam inside, telling him to hurry so he can push the elevator button.  He eagerly does this, and once inside the elevator I tell "Mr. Trouble" that it is his turn.  CamCam has a fit.  I still have yet to figure out why pushing a button is so much fun.  But I do know this- if I ever invent a child's toy, it will just be a tray of elevator buttons that light up.  I'd take it with me everywhere. 


I shall not bore you will the details of all the fits CamCam threw at our appointment.  Let's just say that toys were thrown, pretzels were dumped, and screaming ensued when the germ-filled pretzels were not allowed to be eaten. 


Once at home, it wasn't any better.  No matter what toy his brother had, CamCam wanted it.  Nothing pleased him.  Finally they went downstairs to color, and all I heard was nonstop screaming from CamCam.  I went down to investigate, and "Mr. Trouble" said CamCam was crazy. 


I figure an early nap may be in order for CamCam.  He's up there now, but I'm not confident any napping will occur.  All I hear is him knocking on the door and asking to be let out.  It sounds a little something like this:
OP!  (bang)  PEN!  (bang)  DOOR!! (bang)  NOWWWW!!! (bang, bang)


He's got to be tired though.  I don't see how all these meltdowns haven't zapped him of all his energy. 


I know they did me.

Interpretation Please?

I think toddler talk is so precious. They have this way of hearing the basic sound of a word and creating their own talk. My favorite one so far was by my oldest: He kept saying "cracked-elbows" and my husband and I could NOT figure out what on earth he meant. It was months before we knew. One day he handed us his plastic toy crocodile and said cracked-elbows. Crocodile! Ah, of course, it's so obvious!

Every toddler has their own little language. So even though I've had 5 kids, I still will have a hard time deciphering what someone else's 2 year old is trying to say. Mom's almost always know what their own toddler is saying. Dad's are pretty good at figuring it out. Siblings are the best. Here's a few of CamCam's words for things:

Nips: Scissors. You know, because when you cut with them they go nip, nip, nip.



Peas: Please


Na-yap: (said in a very long, drawn out way) This is CamCam's response when you ask him a question and he doesn't have a very strong view on it one way or the other. It's a no/yes combo. This is his response to me 99% of the time. He takes the time to be clear only when it's of great importance. EX: "CamCam, do you want to take a nap?" CamCam: No!



Fuk: Frog. I promise.



PITA: Pizza, his absolute favorite food.



Fun-deeee: Funny, said with a smile



Na-Nite: Sleep or Bed. As in "Ma, no na-nite"


Ma- A Cham me: Mom, you change me? AKA- I pooped.


A-Ju: Apple Juice


Guy: Car. There is nothing like coming down the stairs and seeing your toddler pointing at your entryway and saying guy, guy, guy to stop your heart cold. I ever so slowly went to investigate, and then CamCam continued past the entry and onto the basement playroom and pointed at the cars lined up on the pool table and said guys. He just needed me to turn on the light for him.

Dear Target

Dear Target,

I am writing to apologize for the mess I made in your store the other day. Well, technically I didn't make the mess. I am, however, responsible for the person who did make the mess and since he cannot write, I am writing in his behalf.

I decided a week ago that my new rule when going out in public is that anyone under the age of 4 will be restrained in either a stroller or cart. I had both of these items at my disposal that day, so I'm not sure why my CamCam was walking through your store with me. I do know I went in there to buy some much needed cleaning products. I wanted a Swiffer to clean my bathroom floors, and was surprised that there wasn't just one Swiffer to grab, but I needed to decided between options. I find it difficult to make decisions and think in public because I am distracted by my 3 little boys. This is probably the reason CamCam was walking, I'm sure I absentmindedly pulled him out of the cart.

However it happened, he did manage to grab a bottle of Murphy's Oil Soap and drop it.

It broke.

It was the large size.

I didn't realize this had happened until I started to smell something very strong. I went to the official Murphy's oil soap website, and they describe their product this way:

The original formula is a naturally gentle all-purpose cleaner with a scent that says "home".

I'm not sure what I was smelling, but I can tell you that it did NOT smell like home. I was hunting down the smell and that's when I noticed the puddle forming at the end of aisle 9.

I tracked down an employee and she was very kind. She informed a supervisor, and she also was very kind. She also mentioned the smell.

I am sorry for making your entire store stink. And I can only imagine how difficult it would be to clean up an entire bottle of floor cleaner. I imagine it would just spread and spread and the more you try to wash it up, the more it would seem to grow.

Actually, I don't need to imagine, I speak from experience.

I hope you will continue to allow me to shop in your store. I assure you I buy a ton of diapers and wipes solely from you, so you'll make your money back. And I will try harder to keep to my new rule of containing my little terrors.

Sincerely,

CamCam's mommy

I Watch Them, I Swear

Lately CamCam and "Mr. Trouble" have been playing the cutest little "game" ever. They have been walking around with their stuffed Mickey Mouse, and they call him their baby. It makes me smile to watch them taking care of this "baby." They bring him with them to watch TV and sit him on the couch. They take turns holding Baby Mickey when he "cries" and try to soothe him. They give him naps, they bring him to the table at lunchtime and pretend he's eating too.

Everywhere they go, Baby Mickey goes.

Considering they're only 4 and 2, they do a pretty good job of taking care of him. Not that I'm going to leave them alone with "The Baby" or anything, I'm just saying I'm pretty impressed at their early parenting skills.

But yesterday Baby Mickey was brought up to me looking like this:






Which is really a perfect mini-version of what "Mr. Trouble" and CamCam looked like. Cheeks, hands, feet, legs- yup they did it all.




They look very proud of themselves, don't they? "Mr. Trouble" is trying SO hard not to smile.

I'm not sure if they used permanent marker or what, but after a bath and numerous face scrubbings, this marker isn't budging. Here we are a full 24 hours later, and my boys are still sporting their fantastic markings.

Which is why "Mr. Trouble" and CamCam are in charge of a stuffed animal and not him:

How Old Do You Need To Be To Drink Coffee?

Coffee.

It has become the bane of my existence.

Which is weird, since it used to be my savior.

A couple weeks ago we went away for the weekend and stayed in a hotel. We went for my sister's wedding, and all our family was there. I was in the wedding, and so my kids were watched a lot by daddy and family members.

About half-way through the weekend, I walked into my hotel room with a cup of coffee in one of those disposable cups. I put it down on the table, and when I looked back over, CamCam had it in his hands and was about to take a sip. I took it from him, and told him no, that was mama's. He screamed and said "my off-ee, my off-ee!" I was amused he knew what it was. And wondered why he suddenly had interest in it. He rolled around on the ground, screaming and thrashing about, wailing: "offfff-eeeeeeee! offffff-eeeeeee!"

It was then that I noticed another cup on the table. It was also a disposable coffee cup, I opened it up and it had water inside. I asked CamCam if this was his, and he said yes.

Now I don't want to point any fingers, but the previous night someone, (CamCam's grandparents)
was watching CamCam, (grandparents on dad's side)
and I deduce that someone (probably Nunno)
thought it would be smart to give CamCam a drink in the disposable coffee cup. This was very wise, as in a hotel-type situation a coffee cup with a lid is the best substitute for a spill-proof sippy-cup.

I would also venture a guess that someone (probably Papa)
thought it would be funny to tease CamCam and tell him he was drinking coffee. I can hear the game in my head now.

P: CamCam, are you drinking coffee?
C: Nooooo, hahahahahhaha
P: Yes you are, give me back my coffee!
C: (squealing with delight) Nooooo, my off-eee! hahahahahahaha

Cute and fun for them. Not so fun for me, 2 weeks later, every morning having had the same struggle with CamCam.

Me: CamCam, get away from my coffee!
C: No! No! No!
M: No, you can't have coffee, give that back.
C: (jumping up and down in anger) Noooooo! MY OFFF-EEEE!!!! MY OFFF-EEEE!!!!

Grandparents!

If I didn't know any better, I'd swear they never had children.

A Preview of Greatness to Come

It's amazing how quickly our children grow up. While it can feel like the stage you're at with them will last forever, suddenly one day it seems like years have passed in an instant. Even CamCam will grow up out of his "terrible twos." He'll probably always be active, but he will grow into a little boy.



But for anyone who's worried that all these fun stories will be ending anytime soon, do not worry. There is another little "tornado" waiting in the wings, preparing for the day when he can take over and follow in his brother's footsteps.




Today "The Baby" turned one, and I think I'm going to have my hands full with this one too.